I just got back from a trip to Santa Cruz about a week ago. I have been trying to write about some of my trips, I would say I am maybe having a 35% success rate at that. The trip was to the Santa Cruz School of the Supernatural with Joaquin Evans, one of my heroes and friends. It was six second years and me. God's presence came super strong in both of the meetings at one time I unexpectedly flew out of my chair and landed on the floor next to some of the very intoxicated (in the Presence) students. Many miracles happened like pain leaving bodies and ears opening up and I even unexpectedly got to speak for about fifteen minutes and do some ministry time. I just shared testimonies about how easy and fun it is to partner with God. That walking in the supernatural is for anyone and every Christian.
The second year students and I decided to go to the pier for fudge and an americano for me! On our way we past a soccer game where some Hispanic people where playing. I got a group of theirs attention and started loudly calling out words of knowledge. They began to laugh and none responded then I pointed to an older guy and asked him if he had pain in his lower back. He said yes, bad. We prayed quickly in Spanish for like 20 seconds, he tested it out all the pain was gone! Thank you Jesus! Next we began propheczing over people, while our friends down the way were growing out legs. I began to prophecy over this young man about sports, his heart, and the future God had for him. It was really simple. I could then see his heart had majorly opened up, admist of his friends sort of mocking us. I asked if he ever felt God's presence. He said he didn't know. I said, "You would know!" I asked him if he wanted to he said yes. He felt God's presence and love. I then asked him, if God was really good and loving if he wanted to know him personally. He said yes. He then accepted Jesus and we prophecied over him that he can hear God's voice and do what we do love on people and miracles. This young man was super thankful, we then exchanged facebook information.
EVERYONE is super hunger to know God. If someone isn't walking with God, He probably has just been misrepresented to them. It says in Haggai 2:7 that He is the desire of the nations, the word there actually means heathens those who aren't walking with God. They were all made to desire God and know Him intimately! :D Wow! Wherever you go.. invite people to experience His Love, Kindness, and Goodness!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Friday, November 25, 2011
Black Friday...love explosion!!!
Hope your Black Friday was grand and filled with light and joy from Holy Spirit in whatever you were doing and
wherever you were!
Naomi
and I hit the streets in down town Redding and we meet so
amazing people who encountered Jesus and His grace.
The
first two people we meet were two homeless men. One guys name was choice and
just hanging out. We just loved and encouraged them.
Moses
and Henry: Moses was a younger man from Sudan Africa who had
just moved to Redding. I asked Moses if he had ever felt the presence of God
before and he responded, “Not until now” as in until we had walked up to him.
We kept prophesying God’s heart and dreams for his life (not even
very specific) but he was completely amazed and blown away that people would
stop and talk and encourage him. We continued talking to them
for a while and he communicated that he did not like Christians and was shocked
that we were Christians. The point I want to get across was that we didn’t even
give specific words of knowledge but he was rocked by God and encountered Jesus
in a loving way for maybe the first time in his life. In closing, we finally
asked both of them to hold out their hands and ask Holy Spirit to come. They
both encountered Jesus and we asked Jesus to reveal himself to Jesus. So if you
want please pray for Moses.
Deb
and Michael: this couple was amazing! As Naomi and I were talking with Moses
and Henry we saw Deb singing out of a Bible to a few other homeless people. As
we were getting to know them better we learned that they both knew Jesus and
were married for only a week! They had an shocking 17 year difference between
and made a wonderful mix:-) We asked if they wanted to feel the presence of God
and they both asked Holy Spirit to fill them and show up in their life. It
looked like Deb started to manifest and she said that she felt a “jolt of
electricity” fill her body.
Naomi
and I both prayed for their knees and then Deb’s hearing loss. We prayed: at
first she couldn’t hear me from 10 feet away. The next time we prayed I stood
25 feet away and she could hear me. Also Deb had a lot of mental illnesses like
Schizophrenia and both Naomi and I got a word of knowledge about Jesus wanting
to heal mental/ brain issues. And we released that and the peace over her and
her entire countenance changed. Also we prophesied over their dreams and they
shared how they want to do singing and acting for people while preaching the
love of Jesus. Yay!
Written
by: the glorious Julianne Wood :)
And then I finished my day with some quality time at Black Bear Diner with Les, Audrey, Dave, and Laurel!!
Also I took my California Food Handling test for work oh what joy ;) Naomi!
And then I finished my day with some quality time at Black Bear Diner with Les, Audrey, Dave, and Laurel!!
Also I took my California Food Handling test for work oh what joy ;) Naomi!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Nebraska...oh man!!!
 |
Oh MAN!!! I just recently got back from a super awesome ministry trip to Nebraska. I am going to delight you in some highlights. I was in Grand Island and Kearney. Let me tell you about the lady bugs..wow! I was on a treasure hunt with eight woman from the church and we decided to stop at the hospital. On our way back to the church it wasn't on our treasure maps....BUT.. Releasing God's Wonderful Presence in a hospital is just a good idea. On our way in we saw over one thousand lady bugs! CRAZY! Not that I counted.. but that's what it seemed like. Also a girl on our team (from RDD) had seen I think it was fifteen lady bugs in her room. Prophetically lady bugs are symbolic for the anointing and are defenders of the harvest. We later as a Bethel team were talking about all this when the pastor of the church said he was recently given a prophetic word by a French prophet he knows that they would clear out their hospital!! This was good enough for us!! We later filled the church bus with our team to head to the hospital to see what God would do in about an hour!! We saw God do some awesome things. But not really what you would expect sending 20 crazy revivalists into a hospital. BUT THEN....3 DAYS LATER... One of our team members got a phone call saying..Hunter a little boy who was pretty sick was miraculously discharged!! Who they had met and prayed for (I can't remember what was wrong with him.) ALONG WITH>>>>>>>>>>>>> FIFTY PERCENTof the hospital.... ALSO DISCHARGED!! OH MY GOD!! they also weren't seeing many people come into the ER. and actually were sending hospital staff home BECAUSE.. they had nothing to DO!!SAY WHAT...!?!?! GOD IS SO GOOD!!! (pictured: Naomi (me) and Holly on bus in Nebraska) |
Monday, October 3, 2011
Powerfully Processing Disappointment.
This blog is a bit different than what I usually write about :)
I am actually going to write about how I deal with disappointment.
I live in two worlds at once.
I live knowing that Jesus paid the price absolutely for all to be healed. I know it is absolutely His will and heart to heal all through us His church. While that is always my expectation that the one in front of me would receive full healing, this isn't always my experience.
It is so crazy to live in this culture where left and right we are hearing amazing testimonies about what God is doing all over the earth. I think in one week I probably hear more good news than I ever did in the fifteen years before I knew Jesus!
I celebrate those who are healed and receive any measure of healing in their bodies; I am also at the same time very aware that everyone that gets prayed for isn't healed.
You might wonder what do you do with that? How do you process that?
I have had situations in my life such as my mom dying at 42 from cancer, friend's children dying, and just this week one of my friends dying from cancer. All of these situations all obviously were hard for me and you have also probably had things like this in your life as well, These types of situations lead me to questions and a DEEP hunger to look more like Jesus. Allow me to explain the process.
How do we live on the edge of breakthrough? how do we press in for more? How do we handle when we pray for people and many many many get well and yet some die? These are questions I have had to ask myself and the Lord lately.
1. Let's say we expect something to happen and it doesn't the way we think it should, whether it be healing finances ect. When someone isn't healed His nature is never on trial. He still purchaced healing and salvation for all. We first and foremost have a choice to make.. To believe that God is good, no matter what. That it is ALWAYS His heart to redeem His people from all works of the devil, death, sickness, sin, poverty, whatever. When we choose to believe He is who He says He is it puts us in a position to be victorious when we are processing our pain.
2. Be honest with God- process how you feel. Be humble and real with God He can handle it. However as you are real with Him, be honoring towards Him, keeping in mind that He is a good Father! Allow Him to come into your heart and love on any places of pain, discouragement, disappointment, or fear. Choose to not be angry at God, because that leads to disappointment and when we are disappointed with God that leads to a skewed perception of Him and who He truly is and that left untreated grows into unbelief. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." And unbelief leads us into powerlessness... and powerlessness just breeds disappointment.
3. When we choose to believe He is good.To choose to not be disappointed in God. We next have another choice to make to not give up. To get in the secret place and cry out for more. Our realization that we don't currently measure up to the life of Jesus was meant to lead us to hunger for more and ultimately to looking like Jesus in every area of our lives and bringing heaven to earth in every sphere of society. Our realization that we must have more should lead us to dreaming, imagining, and stepping out, it was never meant to cause us to feel inadequate or powerless!!
Hunger always leads us to relationship and relationship with Him will always lead us to more love, power, and confidence in Him. This very thing should actually lead us to more of His power flowing through our lives and into the world around us!
Keep Dreaming!
The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever.”
I am actually going to write about how I deal with disappointment.
I live in two worlds at once.
I live knowing that Jesus paid the price absolutely for all to be healed. I know it is absolutely His will and heart to heal all through us His church. While that is always my expectation that the one in front of me would receive full healing, this isn't always my experience.
It is so crazy to live in this culture where left and right we are hearing amazing testimonies about what God is doing all over the earth. I think in one week I probably hear more good news than I ever did in the fifteen years before I knew Jesus!
I celebrate those who are healed and receive any measure of healing in their bodies; I am also at the same time very aware that everyone that gets prayed for isn't healed.
You might wonder what do you do with that? How do you process that?
I have had situations in my life such as my mom dying at 42 from cancer, friend's children dying, and just this week one of my friends dying from cancer. All of these situations all obviously were hard for me and you have also probably had things like this in your life as well, These types of situations lead me to questions and a DEEP hunger to look more like Jesus. Allow me to explain the process.
How do we live on the edge of breakthrough? how do we press in for more? How do we handle when we pray for people and many many many get well and yet some die? These are questions I have had to ask myself and the Lord lately.
1. Let's say we expect something to happen and it doesn't the way we think it should, whether it be healing finances ect. When someone isn't healed His nature is never on trial. He still purchaced healing and salvation for all. We first and foremost have a choice to make.. To believe that God is good, no matter what. That it is ALWAYS His heart to redeem His people from all works of the devil, death, sickness, sin, poverty, whatever. When we choose to believe He is who He says He is it puts us in a position to be victorious when we are processing our pain.
2. Be honest with God- process how you feel. Be humble and real with God He can handle it. However as you are real with Him, be honoring towards Him, keeping in mind that He is a good Father! Allow Him to come into your heart and love on any places of pain, discouragement, disappointment, or fear. Choose to not be angry at God, because that leads to disappointment and when we are disappointed with God that leads to a skewed perception of Him and who He truly is and that left untreated grows into unbelief. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." And unbelief leads us into powerlessness... and powerlessness just breeds disappointment.
3. When we choose to believe He is good.To choose to not be disappointed in God. We next have another choice to make to not give up. To get in the secret place and cry out for more. Our realization that we don't currently measure up to the life of Jesus was meant to lead us to hunger for more and ultimately to looking like Jesus in every area of our lives and bringing heaven to earth in every sphere of society. Our realization that we must have more should lead us to dreaming, imagining, and stepping out, it was never meant to cause us to feel inadequate or powerless!!
Hunger always leads us to relationship and relationship with Him will always lead us to more love, power, and confidence in Him. This very thing should actually lead us to more of His power flowing through our lives and into the world around us!
Keep Dreaming!
The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever.”
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Crooked nose straightens out!
I thought this was a really fun thing God did for a man..
On Saturday at the healing rooms me and my friend Richard were having fun just blessing people with joy, laughing, walking around and talking to people and not trying very hard. We were drawn to this young guy from Hawaii who was in his late 20s. We asked if anyone had prayed for him. He said no and he wasn't sure if he wanted prayer. Which was funny because he had a form filled out for prayer and everything. We assured him it would be easy and fun. HA.
He was like sure. He said his nose was punched two years ago by one of his friends and had never healed properly. The top of his nose on his left side was missing cartilage and on the right had a large bump. Also the ball of his nose was twisted to the side and noticeably off center. We prayed and laughed and he started to breathe better out of his nose as well as he received new cartilage in the left side of his nose. When this happened we all started to thank the Lord that he could breathe better....
THEN...
I watched the ball of his nose moved from the left side to the center of his nose. IT WAS CRAZY!! Oh man God is so good!! He and his family were very touched by God and his goodness. This guy said his nose was at least 30-50% better, he said when he looked in the mirror his nose looked different!
God is better than we think, He is really good at healing the sick.. which is great because HE IS HEALER! God's goodness blows me away!
On Saturday at the healing rooms me and my friend Richard were having fun just blessing people with joy, laughing, walking around and talking to people and not trying very hard. We were drawn to this young guy from Hawaii who was in his late 20s. We asked if anyone had prayed for him. He said no and he wasn't sure if he wanted prayer. Which was funny because he had a form filled out for prayer and everything. We assured him it would be easy and fun. HA.
He was like sure. He said his nose was punched two years ago by one of his friends and had never healed properly. The top of his nose on his left side was missing cartilage and on the right had a large bump. Also the ball of his nose was twisted to the side and noticeably off center. We prayed and laughed and he started to breathe better out of his nose as well as he received new cartilage in the left side of his nose. When this happened we all started to thank the Lord that he could breathe better....
THEN...
I watched the ball of his nose moved from the left side to the center of his nose. IT WAS CRAZY!! Oh man God is so good!! He and his family were very touched by God and his goodness. This guy said his nose was at least 30-50% better, he said when he looked in the mirror his nose looked different!
God is better than we think, He is really good at healing the sick.. which is great because HE IS HEALER! God's goodness blows me away!
Supernatural Weight Loss
A few weeks ago when I was back home in Toledo Ohio, I was at church and ran into a friend who I hadn't seen in awhile. I was sharing with him a few testimonies about creative miracles when he asked if I could pray for him for a weight loss miracle. He said diet and exercise had been hard and he really wanted some divine intervention.
So I prayed as in, I released joy over him and laughed a lot, I don't remember actually "praying." He felt God's presence and what he called a sucking in his stomach. His stomach was sucking in supernaturally!
Then both of us watched his stomach go in a bit..prayed some more and in a bit and some more and still in.. Then we stopped and he still felt it going in ..guessing an inch total and counting!! Yay GOD!!!!! :D He also felt his arms get smaller and when he looked in the mirror he said he noticed a noticable difference! (anyone reading this recieve it for yourself)
I had never seen this happen before but my bestfriend Holy Spirit heals all that come to Him. It isn't about what we have or haven't seen, it's not our efforts, but our willingness to partner with a God who loves to restore all! He is forsure a God of wholeness.
So I prayed as in, I released joy over him and laughed a lot, I don't remember actually "praying." He felt God's presence and what he called a sucking in his stomach. His stomach was sucking in supernaturally!
Then both of us watched his stomach go in a bit..prayed some more and in a bit and some more and still in.. Then we stopped and he still felt it going in ..guessing an inch total and counting!! Yay GOD!!!!! :D He also felt his arms get smaller and when he looked in the mirror he said he noticed a noticable difference! (anyone reading this recieve it for yourself)
I had never seen this happen before but my bestfriend Holy Spirit heals all that come to Him. It isn't about what we have or haven't seen, it's not our efforts, but our willingness to partner with a God who loves to restore all! He is forsure a God of wholeness.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I am shocked..dreams do come true!
So tomorrow I am speaking at a little ladies' lunch at one of my favorite womens' house and when I was saving a document for tommorow I noticed I had three word docs titled dreams.
My curiosity got to me and I explored.. them.. ALL..
Because that's how i roll...
To save the details 5 out of 300 of my life dreams 5 out of 5 being entirely impossible happened the past 5 months!!
I also ran into my dream/goals list for second year BSSM.. I'll post them below
many of them happened!
X-means it happened
XXXX-multiple means I am super excited about it & it happened!
and if it's blank that means it is about to..soon!
XXXX-crippled bodies made well time and time again
-see someone raised from death
X-a new confidence in my beauty
XXXX-go out to love people at least twice a week
X-be intentional in grocery stores driving ect to love on people
X-dance on stage during worship
-lose 10 pounds (so far 8.5)
XXXX-CUBA!!!!!!
-new eyes form
XXXXX-limbs grow out...YESSSSS!!!
-teeth appear through prayer
XXX-muscles form
XXXXX-open air and see salvations
XX-see 20 people saved through personal interactions (haha looking back God WAY exceeded this)
X-blog, write poems or paint at least 3-4 times a week
-open air a large crowd 50+
X-go on a wonderful date; yes a date (ugh, wonderful may or may not be the word.)
x my income increase
xx deep life long connections continue and even become more apparent
XX-meet with Les for coffee three more times (I'm actually interning with him)
XXX-strong, consistent open connection with housemates
XX-that Love Hutt would continue beyond this year (my house, oh and it did..)
-slam once
XXXX-eat dinner with someone I REALLY admire (def, lots)
xxx host a meal for friends (which was important to me because I was so busy)
-xsoak and worship with friends regularly
-treasure hunt or such regularly with housemates
-xx go on a treasure hunt with children
I wrote this in October and viewed it just a few times.. thanks Holy Spirit for all you did!
I encourage you to write down your goals because at least half of these I didn't really even acknowledge the process of my breakthrough before reading this...
You may remember my earlier blog about dreams and dreaming with God.. http://extravagantbliss.blogspot.com/2010/11/invitation-to-dream.html
My curiosity got to me and I explored.. them.. ALL..
Because that's how i roll...
To save the details 5 out of 300 of my life dreams 5 out of 5 being entirely impossible happened the past 5 months!!
I also ran into my dream/goals list for second year BSSM.. I'll post them below
many of them happened!
X-means it happened
XXXX-multiple means I am super excited about it & it happened!
and if it's blank that means it is about to..soon!
XXXX-crippled bodies made well time and time again
-see someone raised from death
X-a new confidence in my beauty
XXXX-go out to love people at least twice a week
X-be intentional in grocery stores driving ect to love on people
X-dance on stage during worship
-lose 10 pounds (so far 8.5)
XXXX-CUBA!!!!!!
-new eyes form
XXXXX-limbs grow out...YESSSSS!!!
-teeth appear through prayer
XXX-muscles form
XXXXX-open air and see salvations
XX-see 20 people saved through personal interactions (haha looking back God WAY exceeded this)
X-blog, write poems or paint at least 3-4 times a week
-open air a large crowd 50+
X-go on a wonderful date; yes a date (ugh, wonderful may or may not be the word.)
x my income increase
xx deep life long connections continue and even become more apparent
XX-meet with Les for coffee three more times (I'm actually interning with him)
XXX-strong, consistent open connection with housemates
XX-that Love Hutt would continue beyond this year (my house, oh and it did..)
-slam once
XXXX-eat dinner with someone I REALLY admire (def, lots)
xxx host a meal for friends (which was important to me because I was so busy)
-xsoak and worship with friends regularly
-treasure hunt or such regularly with housemates
-xx go on a treasure hunt with children
I wrote this in October and viewed it just a few times.. thanks Holy Spirit for all you did!
I encourage you to write down your goals because at least half of these I didn't really even acknowledge the process of my breakthrough before reading this...
You may remember my earlier blog about dreams and dreaming with God.. http://extravagantbliss.blogspot.com/2010/11/invitation-to-dream.html
Thursday, April 28, 2011
GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!! 150,000 Saved, 10 Lepers Cleansed, Many Creative Miracles
This is a recent video testimony and podcast from last weeks church service at Bridgeway Church in Denver CO. Jim Rogers from Bridgeway shares about his recent trip to Nigeria. Hands and limbs grow back in the Glory Cloud! Lepers are healed as noses and fingers grow back. 150,000 are saved and 2 people are raised from the dead! God did tons of crazy things in Nigeria which He will do all around the world!!
Please listen to the full testimony, prophecy and impartation at http://www.bridgeway.us/podcast.php
it is amazing!!!
And watch this video!!! OH MY!! I have never heard anything quite like this!!! :D
Nothing is impossible with God
Please listen to the full testimony, prophecy and impartation at http://www.bridgeway.us/podcast.php
it is amazing!!!
And watch this video!!! OH MY!! I have never heard anything quite like this!!! :D
Nothing is impossible with God
Sunday, February 20, 2011
What is it like for women to live, love, and lead in their full potential? your thoughts.
Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do.
Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
~ Ella Fitzgerald ~
Have you ever felt like you were in a season in your life where everything in your life had potential?
I feel like I wake up every morning to this awareness that anything could happen.
That nothing is impossible.
I BELIEVE that is a fire that has been so deeply been burned on my heart for life.
That my dreams could be tasted today.
I am so thankful for the many people who I truely feel believe in me.
Right now, today, where I am at. The list goes on and on.
So today I went to this tea party,
Held by two amazing friends of mine where they shared their journeys of what it is like to be empowered as a woman. They shared their process. It was amazing. I am still processing.
During this time I was reminded how in my life I have felt limited by my gender in leadership ect. sometimes I have things burning in my heart to say something and I look around the room and notice I am the only woman present and or sharing. As of the past 6 months or so I have only noticed this, and for the most part not allowed this to hold me back because it shouldn't hold women back.
We are just as powerful as men. Different but never the less just as powerful.
I don't really have a message to share but just wanted to open this up as a discussion.
What do you think it looks like for a woman to lead, live, and love in her full potential? I know many of us our on a journey into this subject but what are your thoughts?
Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
~ Ella Fitzgerald ~
Have you ever felt like you were in a season in your life where everything in your life had potential?
I feel like I wake up every morning to this awareness that anything could happen.
That nothing is impossible.
I BELIEVE that is a fire that has been so deeply been burned on my heart for life.
That my dreams could be tasted today.
I am so thankful for the many people who I truely feel believe in me.
Right now, today, where I am at. The list goes on and on.
So today I went to this tea party,
Held by two amazing friends of mine where they shared their journeys of what it is like to be empowered as a woman. They shared their process. It was amazing. I am still processing.
During this time I was reminded how in my life I have felt limited by my gender in leadership ect. sometimes I have things burning in my heart to say something and I look around the room and notice I am the only woman present and or sharing. As of the past 6 months or so I have only noticed this, and for the most part not allowed this to hold me back because it shouldn't hold women back.
We are just as powerful as men. Different but never the less just as powerful.
I don't really have a message to share but just wanted to open this up as a discussion.
What do you think it looks like for a woman to lead, live, and love in her full potential? I know many of us our on a journey into this subject but what are your thoughts?
<3 Thanks
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Stage four bladder cancer bows to Jesus!
With God all things are possible!!!- Matthew 19:26
I had the honor and privledge of going on an amazing trip to Ramona, Ca with some absolutely amazing Jesus lovers back in December. One of the night services this amazing man came in who was pale as a ghost very skinny and lifeless looking. He had Bladder Cancer I believe it was stage four a handful of us prayed over him and loved on him. He felt God's tingly presence all over from head to toes. He could feel heat and then numbness leave his body which was one of his symptoms of his cancer. LEAVING.. hahaha. I think we then laughed over him. He said he was feeling great as if jumping on springs. Life and color were back in his skin and countanence!! Come on Jesus! He told of what God was doing and that he would have a check up with his cancer doctor in January.Well he just emailed me and you would be happy to hear that Rich said,
"How great to hear from you...God is Great...I had my appt. with my cancer
Doctor three weeks ago and cancer free. "
COME ON!!!!!!! Jesus is soooooooooo amazingly in love with people!!!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Ohio is for lovers and stories of provision.
I remember somewhere back in June.
BURNING to go to second year and I was penniless absolutely broke. ABSOLUTELY BROKE.
Searching for a job back home in Ohio.
And right then I had a choice to make. "am I going to stay here in Toledo and work and save and maybe go back to school in a few years or can I dream the impossible in the misdt of tons of people giving me advice and "wisdom" trying to talk me out of second year because of my finances ect.."
But though my wallet and bank account were empty my heart was full of dreams and my mind packed with testimonies of an extravagant God who gives good gifts to his kids!
But when we dare to dream.. He meets us.
When we step out... He brings himself. The answer to every problum.
The one who invades impossibilities with CRAZY solutions.
I refuse to believe I could ever have a need he wouldn't meet.
God is so in love with us, and as we drink in that love. Impossibilities really begin to look logical. ha!
It is God's good pleasure to give us His kingdom. Luke 12:32
I don't believe I can out dream God.
I remember just remembering all of these impossible situations in my life and saying in my heart "I refuse to empower any mindsets that say I live in a kingdom of lack where dreams don't come true."
And since then
I got a job or one job twice in two different states ;)
crazy amounts of provision..
Checks from strangers
Random payments on my tuition in the form of 100s of dollars
my tuition almost entirely paid from gifts and work
people raised up around me who really believe in me..
it is crazy
crazy crazy the gifts of God I am so thankful, rocked, humbled by the grace and love of GOD!!
Through His people!
I just want to thank you for believing in my life!
He just wants to show off His love in crazy ways.
Take it my breakthroughs are yours!!
PS. I will be in Colombus, Ohio in Feburary I am going to be part of a healing conference with Chris Gore and Joaquin Evans. It is such an honor to go on this trip and think about serving what god is doing in Ohio! It feels good to know I will be "home" or 2 hours from there, justthe thought of a real gyro or Tim Horton's make me smile. I really also believe there is nothing like seeing God move at "home" such an honor.. oh and I will be able to probably see some people I love such as my dad and George and Sarah.
BURNING to go to second year and I was penniless absolutely broke. ABSOLUTELY BROKE.
Searching for a job back home in Ohio.
And right then I had a choice to make. "am I going to stay here in Toledo and work and save and maybe go back to school in a few years or can I dream the impossible in the misdt of tons of people giving me advice and "wisdom" trying to talk me out of second year because of my finances ect.."
But though my wallet and bank account were empty my heart was full of dreams and my mind packed with testimonies of an extravagant God who gives good gifts to his kids!
But when we dare to dream.. He meets us.
When we step out... He brings himself. The answer to every problum.
The one who invades impossibilities with CRAZY solutions.
I refuse to believe I could ever have a need he wouldn't meet.
God is so in love with us, and as we drink in that love. Impossibilities really begin to look logical. ha!
It is God's good pleasure to give us His kingdom. Luke 12:32
I don't believe I can out dream God.
I remember just remembering all of these impossible situations in my life and saying in my heart "I refuse to empower any mindsets that say I live in a kingdom of lack where dreams don't come true."
And since then
I got a job or one job twice in two different states ;)
crazy amounts of provision..
Checks from strangers
Random payments on my tuition in the form of 100s of dollars
my tuition almost entirely paid from gifts and work
people raised up around me who really believe in me..
it is crazy
crazy crazy the gifts of God I am so thankful, rocked, humbled by the grace and love of GOD!!
Through His people!
I just want to thank you for believing in my life!
He just wants to show off His love in crazy ways.
Take it my breakthroughs are yours!!
PS. I will be in Colombus, Ohio in Feburary I am going to be part of a healing conference with Chris Gore and Joaquin Evans. It is such an honor to go on this trip and think about serving what god is doing in Ohio! It feels good to know I will be "home" or 2 hours from there, justthe thought of a real gyro or Tim Horton's make me smile. I really also believe there is nothing like seeing God move at "home" such an honor.. oh and I will be able to probably see some people I love such as my dad and George and Sarah.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I am writing again here is just a taste a piece of a spoken word.
I often find you,
Serenading me with the finest love songs of promise and security
leaving me with an expectancy for all
my dreams to come true
And i know your hope
That I have
So eagerly hoped in
Could never DISAPPOINT me.
YOU ARE EXCEDINGLY BEYOND
All my vivid childish imaginations
HERE I am safe wrapped in your arms, God.
complete.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Keeping it real My Journey of Becoming "Normal"
So lately I have enjoyed eating healthier a diet full of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and grace and some how that has brought about some thoughts on my past I just wanted to share :))
I have discovered that there is something very liberating in loving ourselves, when we love ourselves we no longer perform or compare ourselves. Secure people can't get rejected because inside of them is an unshakable acceptance: that they chose to agree with long before a situation that challenged their self love arose.
So here is a little bit on my journey of becoming healthy. Growing up in the Midwest probably one of the least healthiest places in America I thought little about health, if ever. I mean wasn't that a class I was forced to take in school every few years. Everyone in my family was either on drugs, ate REALLY unhealthy, or smoked so it never was modeled to me on what it might be like to care about myself. A mentality of what happens happens permeated our culture. I never thought about consequences. Most of the people in my life were very careless of their words and from a very young age I felt "fat, ugly, and unwanted." I remember these emotions determining and being my identity from the beginning of elementary school. I remember thinking no one could or would ever love me and I remember intentionally doing things to isolate myself. I think a lot of people say things about more negative sub cultures things like "they are only doing this or that for attention." For me I never believe that was the case I think it was a desperation to not have an opportunity to be loved because I really didn't want to discover my inadequacies deeper. I think drugs and bulimia/anorexia was my way of disqualifying myself.
Growing up I remember being very shy, insecure, fearful, and seldom feeling loved. Hating my body and mutilating it, whether that meant burning my flesh, taking pills, drugs, starving myself, ect. From the ages of 9-16 I remember purging at least 6 days a week and becoming so freaked out with the feeling of food in my belly. So freaked out even after I got saved just crying because I couldn't handle the feeling of food.
I think even in the deepest darkest places in my life I have always wanted hope even when I truly felt there was no way out. In this season I am celebrating four years after my decision to ditch eating disorders. It was a long battle a hard one. Two or three times between then and a year and half ago I seriously thought of going into rehab for eating disorders. Even in places of feeling loved I had a hard time feeling like I had a voice in this area of my life.
I remember being in deep encounters with God and Him pouring His love all over me and telling me how beautiful I was and how He made me and still thinking "God it's cool you feel that way but I just can't." remember God telling me how loved, wanted, special, valuable, gifted, lovely I was and writing down what He said about me and looking in the mirror saying it over myself and crying, Crying not in a good way. Crying in a this is SO HARD way. This hurts so bad way.. weeks went by and I remember in January 2008 catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and just thinking wow i am so beautiful. I AM BEAUTIFUL.. I really can do this!! Something happened inside of me I didn't even notice. I had begun to actually start to love myself through agreeing with how God saw me. It was crazy. Confidence and security become a part of my life through who God said I was. It was so good, it was like what I believed finally agreed with what I did. I hadn't been participating in any ED stuff but finally my heart loved me!! I now look in the mirror and feel beautiful, secure loved and joyful because I see the father made me and He calls it GOOD! hahaha!!
We can't be ashamed or embarrassed to be confident to be proud of who God has made us to be. That He has made us to be wonderful and lovely!
There is something about just being around God in His presence all fears and insecurities melt off and we receive His mind and thoughts towards ourselves and the world our perspectives are shifted. It truely is indiscribible and only experience can truly do it justice. Let His love go deep experience a new level of freedom and security to be who you were made to be.
FACT
Before Bethel (a year and half ago) I consider going into rehab for bulimia and upon moving here was set free from tormenting hateful thoughts about myself
10% of college age women in America suffer from Bulimia
80% of 13 year olds have attempted to lose weight
God is so in love with you and with Him nothing is impossible.
I have discovered that there is something very liberating in loving ourselves, when we love ourselves we no longer perform or compare ourselves. Secure people can't get rejected because inside of them is an unshakable acceptance: that they chose to agree with long before a situation that challenged their self love arose.
So here is a little bit on my journey of becoming healthy. Growing up in the Midwest probably one of the least healthiest places in America I thought little about health, if ever. I mean wasn't that a class I was forced to take in school every few years. Everyone in my family was either on drugs, ate REALLY unhealthy, or smoked so it never was modeled to me on what it might be like to care about myself. A mentality of what happens happens permeated our culture. I never thought about consequences. Most of the people in my life were very careless of their words and from a very young age I felt "fat, ugly, and unwanted." I remember these emotions determining and being my identity from the beginning of elementary school. I remember thinking no one could or would ever love me and I remember intentionally doing things to isolate myself. I think a lot of people say things about more negative sub cultures things like "they are only doing this or that for attention." For me I never believe that was the case I think it was a desperation to not have an opportunity to be loved because I really didn't want to discover my inadequacies deeper. I think drugs and bulimia/anorexia was my way of disqualifying myself.
Growing up I remember being very shy, insecure, fearful, and seldom feeling loved. Hating my body and mutilating it, whether that meant burning my flesh, taking pills, drugs, starving myself, ect. From the ages of 9-16 I remember purging at least 6 days a week and becoming so freaked out with the feeling of food in my belly. So freaked out even after I got saved just crying because I couldn't handle the feeling of food.
I think even in the deepest darkest places in my life I have always wanted hope even when I truly felt there was no way out. In this season I am celebrating four years after my decision to ditch eating disorders. It was a long battle a hard one. Two or three times between then and a year and half ago I seriously thought of going into rehab for eating disorders. Even in places of feeling loved I had a hard time feeling like I had a voice in this area of my life.
I remember being in deep encounters with God and Him pouring His love all over me and telling me how beautiful I was and how He made me and still thinking "God it's cool you feel that way but I just can't." remember God telling me how loved, wanted, special, valuable, gifted, lovely I was and writing down what He said about me and looking in the mirror saying it over myself and crying, Crying not in a good way. Crying in a this is SO HARD way. This hurts so bad way.. weeks went by and I remember in January 2008 catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and just thinking wow i am so beautiful. I AM BEAUTIFUL.. I really can do this!! Something happened inside of me I didn't even notice. I had begun to actually start to love myself through agreeing with how God saw me. It was crazy. Confidence and security become a part of my life through who God said I was. It was so good, it was like what I believed finally agreed with what I did. I hadn't been participating in any ED stuff but finally my heart loved me!! I now look in the mirror and feel beautiful, secure loved and joyful because I see the father made me and He calls it GOOD! hahaha!!
We can't be ashamed or embarrassed to be confident to be proud of who God has made us to be. That He has made us to be wonderful and lovely!
There is something about just being around God in His presence all fears and insecurities melt off and we receive His mind and thoughts towards ourselves and the world our perspectives are shifted. It truely is indiscribible and only experience can truly do it justice. Let His love go deep experience a new level of freedom and security to be who you were made to be.
FACT
Before Bethel (a year and half ago) I consider going into rehab for bulimia and upon moving here was set free from tormenting hateful thoughts about myself
10% of college age women in America suffer from Bulimia
80% of 13 year olds have attempted to lose weight
God is so in love with you and with Him nothing is impossible.
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